Monday, May 7, 2012

Uncomfortable

There is a good chance my Spanx are a size too small. However I fear if I go up a size the waistband might be at my throat for that "overall" control top effect.

I could hear my stomach during a meeting. (This happens if your meeting is scheduled from 11:00AM - 12:45)

Before you leave the house (but you don't notice it until you've left the house) there is some "grayish" stain on your black dress. What is that? Is it napkin lint? Is it snot? What is it?

Crying in public. But they aren't strangers.

Close talkers. I don't want to move away and offend them, but I am also uncomfortable they are so close.

Hearing my own voice. Ugh, especially when I am impatient, I can't stop the words coming out of my mouth. It doesn't matter if it's with friends, co-workers or my kid. I hate sounding like an a**hole and not being able to take it back. Now the world has proof of my a**holeness, yay. 

Touching other people's clothing in the middle of conversation. Often when talking to people, I have a habit of touching an article of their clothing. Usually a cardigan ... especially a knit cardigan -- store bought, handmade, unfortunately I know no boundaries. Except below the waist. I do not touch below the waist.

Ugh, did I mention moving underwear?
 




Thursday, May 3, 2012

Sisters

One word header today. Makes me want to center the paragraphs and breakout in haiku.

Fear not.

I met my sister today for lunch.

It's weird how much I can miss her when I see her. Laughing and eating. That is probably our favorite. And not that we don't love our kids, since we talk about them quite a bit when we are together, it was nice to see her ... alone. Just us, no distractions or interruptions.

We get along really well. Why? Because we genuinely like each other, and also it helps to have 3 decades of familiar with someone else's kind of crazy.

Also for the most part we have found "our rhythms".

She would say I am easily defensive and chatty.

I would say she is sensitive and prone to sulking.

We'd both we be right.




Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Envy

Okay follow along the tangent people.

There are many things on my mind everyday of how I can be a better person. Often to figure this out, I have to think about what I do wrong.

Then there are things you stumble across in life (or someone sends you via email) and you realize just how inferior you are.

See BoredPanda's post on Jason Lee the amazing professional father photographer. His pics of families and weddings are great. But he is the professional father photographer. He really captures so much youth and fun in the posed photos of his girls. They are creative and sweet and inspiring. They are also a family project. I love that.

That is where I feel inferior. Quite frankly everyone knows I am not a professional and crap with a camera at that. However you don't have to be a professional to put your effort and love into trying to capture some of the great moments of childhood.

The Kid is a whopping 9 years old. I'm tired of saying, "How did that happen?". Because I still have a picture of him at 3, so sweet and innocent taped to my wall by my bed, to remind me. I have not been taking pictures very much of my own son. Spoiled as he may be, perhaps I should capture that crap as well. Pouting on the couch because he can't play video games (waaah...puh-leeze)

I am always hoping to do fun, different, creative things as a family. The boys are not too big on plans, but they will jump in on a baking day, or go for random city walks if I just scoot them out, but it's fleeting and far between as The Kid gets older.

I feel the squeeze. When talking about maybe a trip down to Monterey to the aquarium with Mom and Dad he was like, "Yeah that would be cool. It would be great if I could bring someone." I winced, but tried to be cool myself.

"What?!? Mom and Dad aren't good enough for you? No, I understand, but maybe this time just us and next time a pal."

"Um, sure Mom."

I am feeling the squeeze.

The fact that Jason Lee is able to bring the fun, capture the growth and personalities of his two children in a "family project" with such consistency is so awesome. I can't be Jason, but maybe I can snap 2 photos a week of my own kid, or maybe do something wholesome and fun and creative as a family.

Don't ask me for both. I am not a professional. But I want my kid's childhood back. Is it too late?