So I knew I was going to have to have the obligatory Twilight/Eclipse/Phenomenon/WTF conversation with my sister and my cousin after they went together to go see the matinee on Monday.
You should've seen them when they returned. Between getting up to administer to fallen or arguing children they would sit close together on a little bench on the porch, discussing it's remarkable qualities and astounding achievements. It went a little something like this...
Couz: That was the greatest movie. That was SO good.
Sis: I KNOW! I think this was the best one so far.
Couz fully turned body looking at Sis, making big eyes and big smile: TOTALLY.
Aunt snickering next to me: Oh that Robert Patterson isn't cute at all!
Couz/Sis: Ohhh, you don't know what you're saying! OMG. Please!
Me: He's handsome. But the Twilight thing, I'm sorry. I think it's snoozeville.
Couz/Sis: whispered protesting something between a Masterpiece Theater parlor room and an awkward PTA meeting moment
Couz: Oh no! You just don't get it!
Sis: No she doesn't!
Couz: You see, this is about a girl who is indecisive.
Sis: She's all caught up in her emotions, she doesn't know what she's doing, what to do. What to think.
Couz: Exactly! See you are nothing like that, so she irritates you.
Me: Well ... I guess not.
But secretly I think it's so funny. Because I am EXACTLY like that in so many ways. Just well hidden, waiting for the 5150 ambulance call. And I like to to think I have more moments where I DO know what I want, or I at least know I want to be in control.
In fact I realize I want to be in control so much, that I'm willing to pretend I know what I want, and that I'm decisive just to maintain it ... buying myself some time to figure it all out.
I seriously think I should work on some poker skills.
On the other hand I can be super indecisive about the most basic points.
*Do I like the shirt enough to buy it?
*What restaurant do I want to go to?
*What do I want to eat for lunch? (And I will waffle 6 times between 8:30 and 9 -- convinced this is an argument to bring lunch more often)
*Exercise vs. family time on Sundays
*Which camp should we send The Kid to?
*Where should we go that weekend?
*What should I cook for that event?
*What should I say I do if I don't want to go, but am afraid to say something?
*What should I say if I might hurt someone's feelings? Is it worth it? Am I being selfish? Yes, but how do I reconcile that?
*How do I let go?
Bah same ole same ole.
Ruled by Fear. Boringo. Oh God I am Twilight.