Tuesday, November 23, 2010

The Cake Story: A Report

Monday morning, bright-eyed and bushy haired, I say good morning to some friends that work in a unit in it's own alley of low-walled cubicles. Everyone smiling and kind, a square heavily foil wrapped parcel on the edge of a file cabinet on a pink plastic plate. Ahh, someone made a cake. How nice.

9ish am. Only been in the office for a little over a half an hour and it is quite clear I'm going to require another cup of coffee. I return down the aisle and ask if anyone would like any. Everyone is good. Ahh, look the cake has come out of it's wrapper and is on display. An old school yellow cake with chocolate frosting 2-layer square cake. Aww. I can smell third grade slumber parties ... They say it is for Lindita's birthday. (Duh of course! I had been debating whether or not I'd bring in her gift on the Day or wait until Dinner Night. I opted for private festivites)

She wants to eat cake later. So we will eat cake after lunch when she returns from her Dr.'s appointment.

Hmm now it is somewhere between 9:30 and 10:15 and I get pinged online."I have to tell you something funny about the cake." My friend nervous about appearing gossipy, when really it's a "STORY" starts off says, "Did you see the cake."

I hustle over and cake is removed. Cake is on her desk, squirrelled away from ... the SAVAGES that cut into a corner of the cake without asking.

But wait it gets better. Apparently, known co-worker easy breazies himself over with ... a spoon and a bowl (seeing how there were no serving, eating utencils etc. around the cake.)

1:30sih Lo walks by my aisle of cubes, where Cake Cutter sits as well and playfully asks, "Hey is there anymore of that cake left? It was delicious."

Lo says, "What wait, did you cut into that cake? Was that you? That was Lindita's birthday cake!"

Oh so the shame and the horrors continue. The incredulous voices strain for hush. Lo' is a gracious person and tells him, "No, it's fine, no-one is angry. It's funny." (He was fearful that Shingly would hold a grudge. Silly man, doesn't he know I'm the one that holds grudges around here? ;)

Now the truth is, this Cake Cutter is known for not being my favorite person, for not necessary reasonable reasons. I try to remind myself of this lest I judge too hard. I try to remind myself how bad it is to be an "open-minded hypocrite" and so I reel myself in. I can see how misunderstandings happen.

And then I hear him say, "She shouldn't have left it out."

And then I remember why he puts the vinegar in my milk. I think to myself, "You should've asked O' Entitled One."

There was one slice of cake left at the end of the day, and I won't lie more than one of us was tempted to leave it on his desk. hahahaha. mwahahaaha.

But Momma said, "If you're petty and you know it ... don't show it." Ha! I wish my Momma said that!

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