Thursday, May 23, 2013

My Mom Thoughts

I went back to work when The Kid was 3 months old. I had not been working as a full time employee long enough at that point to be guaranteed a job when I returned (I was on contract before hand), but they were kind enough to hold a spot for me. Anyhow, we were fortunate enough that my husband gave up his lunch shifts and I worked during the day, and he worked the dinner shifts and we sort of tag teamed and overlapped on the weekends.

Life was pretty good. I accepted for the benefit (and health benefits) of all I needed to work. (We also couldn't have afforded not to back then.)

The Manfriend gently explained to me, for the good of the household (and my mental health) it was probably best that I kept working, I was younger then, and much worse at keeping still (couldn't knit, really, not for the lack of Kaps trying to teach me.)

I never regretted it. For just shy of 10 years, it seemed worth it, it made sense. I could keep doubt at bay at least.

My personal feelings towards what is supposed to be a career? or even a job are more tied to my identity than I meant for it to be, or want it to be. Maybe the same thing goes for being a Mom. I'm not sure what else I am without these two descriptors some times.

I constantly question my value in both adjectives.

But again, for the most part I have not had regret.

Then there are days like these, when I miss things. When I realize I am preparing myself to miss things as he gets older and there are less opportunities to be on-site at school and less chance they even want you there. *sigh.

At the end of every school year my son's elementary school does a U.N. event. Each class takes on a country, and for two days they "travel the world" learning about different places, and get a little sample food treat and/or do some sort of relevant craft or puzzle. They get a "passport" with their class picture on it, and they get a stamp for each country they visit. It is The Kid's favorite school function.

Then the following week, they participate as their U.N. class in the "Jr. Olympics". Day 1 includes opening ceremonies. Each grade has a different bit. This year it's the Ring Ceremony for the 4th graders.

This is the first year that I've missed.

He got up this morning, and I OK'd wearing track pants to school, since The Kid's event was, The Long Run. He wore a matching black sweater hoodie (that is getting too small) to match his Black Ring (hula hoop) for the opening ceremony.

I asked Little Snoops if she'd take an iPhone picture for me if she had the chance, since I was feeling all woe is me, working Mom is gonna miss yet another event this year. (*This is due to a project at work, and so it is not like this all the time).

To be clear in the workforce or home, it is all work. You'll find no judgement from me. I will judge you if you think your kid has special rights in public. 

1 comment:

  1. I love the runner!!! See you didn t miss much!
    I think it is good for kids to see that some women have to work and they may have to do so someday too. I missed my share of events; my kids new I'd rather be there to watch them, but jobs require sacrifice ....
    and it is all ok!