Monday, June 28, 2010

Pop Culture Rant-a-thon

So I was feeling a little whiney today. Really tapping into that old man/old woman side today and decided I needed to channel it at something kind of flimsy like the moral fabric of our society. I thought I'd pick on Pop Culture.

TOP 5 Pop Culture Topics of Disdain that I was choosing from:

* Justin Bieber, despite the fact that my son claims up and down to not know this white jean, purple shirt, sideways hat, helmet bang wearing dork is. I feel that somehow my son's reluctance to cut his hair or have it influenced by his mother or father is DIRECTLY related to Justin Bieber. Since last time I checked, Shane from the L Word and Hilary Swank were not visible on any Cartoon Network or Nickolodean Channel commercials.

Reason for not seriously giving it my VERY BEST in the world of ranting?: Because everyone is talking about him, and his parents are getting all caught up in things, and really, if I have to take it to that place, it will have to be a Miley Cyrus/Justin Bieber showdown, and honestly ... doesn't that sound ... E X H A U S T I N G?!?

* Popstars who don't wear pants (also known as shocking outfit phenomenon). OMG as the youngsters say, What's up with everyone dancing around in various forms of underpanties? I don't care if they are high waisted granny panties (I'm lookin' at you Katy Perry and Rihanna BFFs!) I'm tired of it. I don't care if you've taken care of that camel toe problem, Beyonce. I'm unimpressed with tall shoes, and cob-webbed headgear and THEATRICALITY all day everyday Gaga, I'm still singin' speechless in my cubicle.

Just because you can and have, doesn't mean you always have to. Seriously I'll make you a t-shirt that says that, and EVERYONE will take your photo in it.

Reason for not seriously giving it my VERY BEST in the world of ranting?: There have been a lot of articles on this too. Even the lady in Entertainment Weekly got on this rant last issue. I thank her for crossing it over. So, my job is done for me. yay team!

*American Apparel Softcore Ads: You know these ads are so horrible. Softcore? I don't think that is appropriate, though that is how gawker and many others have argued the grossosity of it all. I will tell you, it's just "low budget". Reading how they are trying to "prep up" their image was laughable to me.

Let me put it this way. If I worry about being on a web-site with your ads on it on my lunch hour at work because I think quite possibly someone in the office will think I'm displaying inappropriate behavior that will have me having meetings with Employee Labor Relations at a meet and confer ... Your ads are dirty. If most of your poses are in "lace wear" with someone covering their boobs, their knees in preparation for some missionary work (and I'm not talking about with the monks)and lots of leaning over things w/long hair over one shoulder ... Your ads are dirty. Like the way Tipper Gore would say it.

Reason for not seriously giving it my VERY BEST in the world of ranting?: I heart their cardigans. Oh who am I kidding. I heart almost all cardigans. As long as they don't have you know weird bobbles and embroidered reindeers and holdiay themes etc.

* Mistresses, Girlfriends, Garden Variety Sidepieces that Tell All: Because they are sorry it hurts, "but it's best if they know." Hmm. Okay I don't know about their definition of best. But certainly if THEY (the cuckholded half) should know I understand. How is it better to tell the whole interweb world and In Touch Weekly? Dunno. But seriously, I can barely stand the fact that I know my parents had to hold hands to pro-create me. Do I really need to think/hear/imagine some celebrity give me the recap of their exploits?

Let it be known, I'm not saying the (male) celebrity should be off the hook, or above humiliation and punishment. I'm just saying. TMI. And it's SO blatantly selfish and money grubbing, that it actually backfires and I find myself feeling sorry for a few said idiots. I know! I'm a wuss though! I'm a bleeding heart compassionate something or other.

Reason for not seriously giving it my VERY BEST in the world of ranting?: Boringo, and I keep having flashbacks of Tila Tequila. And I know it's absolutely unrelated, but I can't stand that thing.

*Kristen Stewart/Twilight: Dude I've had SO many conversations on this topic. And really, it never gets tired.


Stay Tuned :)

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