So my pants have been feeling tight again. You know, not sure if it's a "phase tight" again ... phase.
Anyhow, unhappy the way some of my skirts have begun to make my legs look more stumpy than usual. I had to kind of realize that it wasn't the skirt. It was the body, with it's new modifications, kind of like Darth Vadar, complete with slimming black outfit ;)
I put a few things in the goodwill bag and forgave myself for Target in advance.
Hm, I realize I forgot to mention that at the suggestion of "The New Girl" (at work) I went to Bloomingdales to get fitted for a Real Woman/Mom bra. Not too drab, but "supportive" as HM would say. But that if you get a bra that actually fits properly, things will fall into place well ... properly.
Suffice to say, I found a bra that made me happy that I threatened Man-friend I may never take off. He highly recommended buying an extra one.
Anyways, to get to this point, I had to take my shirt off in front of a stranger, be measured in bad lighting in front of a 3-way (no way out of hell) mirror. Ouch! That was very humbling.
I think I'm ready to become one of those girls who "rinses" only at the pool shower and will wait a day if necessary to shower at home.
Hello World! I have BODY AND SHAME ISSUES!
Today the Man Friend and I took The Kid to school together. We took the first MUNI coming and decided to walk up the hill. On the way up the hill I heard Kid say to Man, "This is the hill I have to help Momma up."
About two blocks up the hill, our idyllic city life comes to life, We see another friend, V and his Mom, my Ally from class, crossing the street, and then we hear D & C with their Mom across the street. D is also in the class. As we took the last steep block up to school, we ran into Alan who said, "Hey! You're going the wrong way!" because we work together and clever early man already dropped his kid at the school.
It was a sweet morning, though I was rather out of breath, and clammy when we finally got the boys and C. up the hill and into line-up.
Right before Pledge of Allegiance, Kid runs up to me and gives me a full-on loving, squishy hug and says, really lovingly, "Geez you're fat!" and runs away back into line.
I know ... brutal right? Did I say something? No.
You know, I have a hard time for reprimanding him for calling me fat at the moment. Because I felt jolly, a little squishy yeah sure. But whatever he was calling me, didn't make me feel ugly, and it made me feel large in the best of ways. I don't know if I'm owning the word, but I think maybe in my own passive aggressive way, I'm teaching him ... it's not always bad.