Instead of being sad or angry or chockful of self-pity at feeling a little lost right now for various reasons, some of them valid, and some of them whipped up like the topping on a Orange Caramel Frappacinno... I'm going to redirect. Some might call it denial. And yes, well ... that might be true too, but it feels a lot better.
*Tangerine Curd from the Joy the Baker. She gets referenced a lot on various blogs, I know, but it doesn't make it any less intriguing. Citrus is almost done (some would argue it already is), but my desire to try and make some has not been squealched. Now that HM has gotten me a handy dandy little strainer for my overcooked bits of egg ... I am ready.
*Bake my own bread. I know it's nothing inventive or exciting. I mean the way people wax poetic about bread baking is one step away from sock knitting for me. I get it in sort of an abstract way. I like knitting, I like baking. However those two specific things feel ... chorey to me. And yet! I mentioned the possibility of knitting some citrus socks before and now here I am clucking on about a bread filled oven. Well people, I'll tell you why. I had been keeping one of those Pillsbury Simple tube o' bread in the fridge for one of those, oh crap, I gotta make dinner nights (they happen WAY more often than you'd think) and well I had one on Monday. The Kid was sick from school and no victuals had been procured so I baked it. The Kid came into the kitchen all salivating and happy. Grinning, barely burning his skinny butt fingers for a slice w/butter. I swear I told him it wasn't from scratch. Nonetheless, he was so charmed, so I figured if I actually made bread from scratch, it might give me another tally in the Best Mom column. I could use that right now. Selfish gel that I am.
*Shortribs in curry. When I was a kid, we used funny odd bits of meat for curry. Just a little bit of meat in curry goes a long way. I often picked the meat out, because it wasn't very tender. Anyhow. I think now ... of my love of fatty flavourful meats and I think, hmm, why not stick it in a curry. This weekend, it's gonna happen people.
*Knitting & All the nice people that knit. Knitting has really just made me such a happier person. It has improved my ability to go to sleep at night, wind down faster than any glass of wine, without the calories and potential emo outpour. I am so surprised at the support of other knitters, whether it's long time friends, knitting circle friends, or the lady on the bus that wants to talk about her favorite lace pattern and ask about mine. It's introduced me to a world of immediate and virtual people with great stories, patterns, and lives. They seem so kind, always sharing and creative. It makes me so excited to think about knitting it's rather ridiculous. If only it were cardiovascular exercise ...
*Skinny Butt Booty Shakin' Before Bathtime. Seriously, I don't care if I was just yelling at him for some mess or attitude smack talkin', the skinny mini little boy dance party, it still makes me laugh.
*Throwing crap away. I have such a hard time with letting go of all kinds of things. Mentally moving on is an extreme problem for me. Even when it appears I've let go, there's usually a lot of cranial regurgitation happening. I just don't show it. I don't share it. Topic is off conversation etc. Okay enough example mania. Everytime I go through "things", clutter or my clothing and get rid of stuff I feel like a blue ribbon winner.
Instead of the usual crap, I'm going to cling to my blue ribbon moments. When I am shushing my brain to sleep in the middle of the night, I am grateful I'm not so alone and cold while I do it.