Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Selfish and Sad Distractions

HM said to me, "I love the things that make you sad." ha. It's true, not like sorrowful, but you know childish sadness. Things that are ridiculous if not borderline so. We like to laugh.

The fact that I was convinced I was going to win My Sister's Knitter's yarn give away. It's not that I didn't win. I don't win a lot, but seriously I was SURE I was going to win, like gambler's anonymous sure.

There is a good chance I am eating out of my file cabinet tomorrow. I really do like tea and canned soup. However I do not like feeling like I have to drink tea and eat canned soup. Have to eating makes me sad. I ate a banana for breakfast and it makes me feel so boring. Boring like a chambray shirt with khaki pants. Ouch!

I'm sad that I've attempted at least 4 posts on knitting and I put myself to sleep. zzzzzzzzzz. boring!

When I wear the underwear that doesn't work right with the pants. These are not visibility issues, but comfortability issues. I don't know how to explain it but that me and my pants are moving in one direction, and my underwear wants to go another way.

I am an animal from a cartoon. huffin' and puffin ... I can't run farther without feeling like I'm heavy. I keep trying. Don't you worry, I know. It's a hard thing knowing and not doing. Therefore I have to just try.  It's like reconciling one's personal expectations all the time. It's exhausting, but the hurt it does the self esteem/ego is just too much to keep enduring right now. So yes, I keep trying the run/walk intervals and I keep trying to manage my expectations of everything and everyone including the ME. (Aka Mrs. Huffs Alot)

I miss the way I used to enjoy ice cream. Not that I've cut it out of my life or anything sensible like that. I just don't really eat ice cream anymore because I don't really enjoy it with the same joy. Even ... coffee ice cream. I know! I feel like an ingrate!

Yes, I am completely aware of how gluttonous this rabble makes me seem and I'm completely aware of the desperate times that very good, better than me people are living in.

I started off feeling funny about my sads. Things seemed to get a little awkward there huh? Sorry about that. Must be the guilt.

Sad Distractions.

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