Monday, October 24, 2011

Squishy Me

I am a cranky woman. I have a horrible habit of expressing everything including affection through complaining. I loathe when I become that person that relates to others via bitterness.

Don't try this at home kids.

I get on a roll sometime on that negative rainbow. It's not good for business. My anxiety will begin to grow when this happens. And then the insomnia sort of inserts itself until I am just an attractive hot mess of emotions.

I get upset with myself because it is my own fault I have spiralled to this place.

Self blame doesn't help, so the insomnia drags on for a few days longer.

So I grasp at the yarn. Today it helped a lot at lunchtime to just sit in a corner and knit two rows. Another cup of coffee in the afternoon helped. And I've gone from dreading any sort of physical exertion to looking forward to exercise in the past 4 hours. Improvements have been made.

It's funny how allowing some wrong feelings to fester can set off this whole chain of ick in me. But I think the bigger take away for me (and for you -- since I'm bossy) is that one or two positive things can  perpetuate the good too. Simple things, like knitting a few rows, like taking your kid to school because he wanted you to go, even though someone else would've taken him, taking a turn around the office -- even indoors. Change the pace, the setting, change the perspective.

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