Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Long Winded: Unorganized Mess & Personal Failure

Ugh. This is how I feel. Everything is off kilter today because I am unable to find my digital camera.

For those who might actually read this thing ... I previously lost the camera battery recharger before I was going to Hawaii. Because well I believe I put it in some super logical, central location that would make my life ... EASIER.

I discussed this with Shing. It is part of the ailment she suffers from as well. I suppose it's no surprise that friends who both speak fluent Tangent are both sort of scattered at random points in their lives.

Shing and I both love our grand moments of detail and method. She definitely keeps it together in my opinion. But she reminds me a little of myself. Things directly related to ourselves seem to suffer. I am constantly reminding her to either go home on time or to eat. It's ridiculous, because she loves to eat, and she is sensitive and cranky if she doesn't. Oh and she likes to go home too.

And me. I shuffle around my own stuff, letting everything take a turn on the important pedestal, and then forget where I rotated it to. Scatterbrained, disorganized, always missing something for every event.

I would be lying if I said this wasn't my M.O. since I was a tattertot. (My mom loves the story of me leaving for the Kindergarten bus and I forgot to wear underwear. Of course it was the ONE day I relenting to wearing a skirt so it's an amusing story I suppose). So you know my close friends and obviously my family sort of forgive me for my hole in the head behavior, regardless at how fixable the issue is.

So I could theoretically just ignore all self awareness and say, "Hey I'm keepin'it Real. This is who I am. Yo, deal with it!"

But I'm not like that (anymore). I'm more of a Dobby The House Elf. You know, like in Harry Potter 2: The Chamber of Secrets where Dobby basically starts hitting himself whenever he says anything wrong about his mean masters.

I love Harry Potter.

Anyways I have to think of my own little weasel wizard, The Kid. Whom I may say shows all the organized chaos of his parents combined. Meticulous and anal about random play. Control Freaky with his guests. Bouts of Freakish bookshelf order and then LEGO explosions and dirty boy panties all over the floor and closet door knob. Ick Nast.

Every morning this poor child watches me, and no matter how many things I have lined up at the door ready to go, or packed in my bag the night before inevitably we have to go through the checklist. (At least I'm not checking the stove constantly anymore)
Mom do you have your keys? your phone? Don't get locked out okay? Mom? Do you need your watch today? Do you have your wallet? Do you have your teeth (invisalign)? Did you put the in my bag?

So you see it has come to the point that being unable to find my camera, while I spent a lot of time looking for it has made me ... well, sad. I find it epitomizes my failure to be a good orderly person. Someone that would make a good worker, wife and friend and most importantly a mother. Cause I'm supposed to be guiding this kid. WTF am I teaching him? Be raised by a spazz, don't be a spazz.


Hypocrite Mom. It's the name of my new band. We play a lot of dissonant sound, dude. Our jeans aren't skinny but our beat is TIGHT. We don't smoke dope to BE dope.


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