Saturday, December 18, 2010

Reflections -- Not the PTA Art Contest - but the bad jr. college creative writing kind.

He likes when I watch Star Wars Clone Wars and knit with him. Sometimes he legos ... sometimes he doesn't.

When he spends the night at a friend's house Friday night, on Saturday mornings I'll often still make myself a cup of tea and knit at 9:30 when it's on. I do not start playing legos.

We had a nice apartment party last night. With the parents of 3 other kids from school. The "Only Child Club" though we are still cool enough to be seen with the Sibling Crews too ;) We hung out in the kitchen and the kids ate mini sausages and drummettes with carrots and cucumbers and of course Lego'd and watched Harry Potter. So much for our Arts and Crafts idea, but they were happy and good to each other.

And now still playing catch-up with a small set of odd dishes, there is really not much else to do but knit and organize and prep out for Christmas. However the thing I ask myself to do the most, is relax and sleep. I really think I owe it to myself.

I will take better care of myself. I will rest my weariness so I can spend more time like last night. So I can knit more, so I can read more with The Kid, so I can enjoy things, so I can enjoy taking care of things.

Mother, mothering herself. "You worry too much Mom."

Has somehow my warped brain confused worrying with caring? Have I somehow misdirected energy I obviously have ... again? Well even so. I will not flog myself. I will still try to share and channel the happy but without inducing wrinkles and stomachaches and insomnia. Most importantly I don't want to raise a worrier. He's already pretty cautious and that would be really bad parenting. Risk assessment, okay. Negative Nelly, Bad.

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