Wednesday, January 12, 2011

On Being Bossy ...

I have been accused countless times of being bossy.

I admit, like most bossy people, once I realized, I truly was bossy, I didn't mind all that much. I learned that all those stories you read when you are little where bossy is equated with rude and mean. Hmph! Simply not true. How could I possibly be rude and mean?

Yesterday morning as I barked at The Kid to get his shoes on (for the third time), responded, "I would do it, if you didn't boss me around."

Hmmm. Oh really?

Me thinks not. Me thinks if you just did it, my mouth wouldn't have to work the overtime it does.

So I said so.

Part of being bossy is getting in that last word for you beginners.

Okay but now is where I really learn you all something. The deconstruction of my bossiness.

Justification 1: Bossiness is a way of managing everyone's expectations.
Truth 1: Bossiness is a way of managing my expectations.

Justification 2: If I don't boss, things seem to flail and I have to wait for organic evolution of things getting done. Everyone is stressed out when it becomes last minute and then I have to calm everyone down which is just work for me in the end. Therefore, I'll work in the beginning to boss you around until well, you're happy or at least not anxious, making me more anxious. (mutter something about family here)
Truth 2: People need direction. I like my direction.

Justification 3: Silence is complaisance. It's a favorite bossy person's attack on the passive aggressive people. (you know who you are, Bossies know how to use that weapon too ha!) I assume that you don't really have specific needs or preferences if you don't mention them. I can make assumptions on how well I know your personality type and will try not to be an a-hole about making you do something you don't want to do.

Then again. Maybe I don't want to do it either. Maybe there are things I'm bossing you around on that HAVE TO GET DONE WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT SO YOU CAN SUCK IT.

Truth 3: Seriously people, that is the truth.

I'm a fidgety, twitchy, nervous person. I find things to do, lists to make and yarn to knit for this reason. There is something frightfully rewarding about getting shit done. It is very hard for me to get things done, because I'm so easily distracted. My whole life is about trying to get me to focus. I see other people more capable.

I see people capable that don't. And I feel cheated and jealous that what comes to them so easily they don't even make effort to do.

Bossiness is my own personal overcompensation mode.

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