Knot Again. Knot Now. No.

I went to get D-LUX pedicure with Lu last night after work. She wasn't even at work in the afternoon, and she still was willing to come down to meet me. What a gal! What a pal!

The salon was packed, but we had our chatter and our yarn. Really mellow relaxing time, and she had me laughing. The one that has stuck w/me ...

On her committment issues, "So I say to my sister after she announces her engagement, 'Really? Why would you want to do that? That's like volunteering to eat only vanilla ice cream for the rest of your life. Everytime you walk into the ice cream store, you're surrounded by all these flavors. But now, you only order vanilla."

HAHAHAHHAA.

Okay see -- I didn't get straight to the complaining.

I waited to mention how despite, being soaked, massaged, rubbed, exfoliated and parafin waxed I still can't get a little splinter out my heel.

I waited to mention how when we got our feet waxed we both yelped at how hot it is. And before that as we waited for our polish to dry a little we were admiring my progress on the sweater, when we realized ... I put the hand pouch ... on the back side instead of the front side of the sweater.

We realized I had knit approximately 3 inches ... to frog or backout.

I can't think about it now.

No.

To make matters worse, I'm missing a pair of knitting needles, US 5 16". I discovered this when I tried to salvage the evening knitting with some work on my hat for the good girl. Yes the All Day Beret that needs to be frogged because I knit the yarnovers in a way that did not create a holey effect. Damnit.

Damnit.

No.

Yeah laborday weekend is coming. I must say ... I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to knitting for once. I feel scarred today.

Laborious Days

My self absorbed teenage self is flopping around upside down on the couch, telephone glued to my ear, television on and homework scattered all over the living room floor.

I am complaining about how I never get to do what I want to do.

I can't stand this homework assignment, it's not "interesting".

I'm kind of bored, I need to do something different.

I wish I had some french fries.

WOW -- so much has changed. ha! Okay only maybe the french fries didn't "stick" like they do now. Such a kid I was/am!

This is kind of how I've been feeling. There is plenty of work spread in front of me. It's getting done, bits at a time. But I keep day dreaming about going back on vacation or just fun things on days off.

But then there is this grown up part of me that feels ... guilt. So I think what would the grown up in me tell The Kid. Not just my inner kid, but The Kid. And I think.

Geez, just get it done and stop whining. You would have more time to enjoy yourself, if you just stopped all the fretting. Yeah maybe your idea won't work, but might as well try. If you try and get something done, it will make you feel better. If you just work, you won't waste so much time.

So, this Labor day weekend, we are going to lay low after a great and busy weekend full of School stuff, friend's stuff and another one layer of grime cleaning.

We are going to focus on 2.5 areas each to clean. And then we are going to collectively purge. Only social obligation we'd like to have is seeing my dad and/or sister.

This is great, except I think it might be too sedate for The Kid. Hmm. I should see what I can drum up. Oh well there's soccer practice and ... uh oh ... here we go again.

Knot so Successful

When I was a kid my mother used to have this plaque up in her kitchen it read:

I'm not a slow cook.
I'm not a fast cook.
I'm a half-fast cook.

I think it wasn't until I was 11 till I got the play on words.

I think I am half-fast at everything.

Examples:
Clutter/Housework (which unfortunately is one and the same for me and my "lifestyle")
Knitting - Cant focus on one project have to have not 2 or 3, usually 4. I excuse myself for this, b/c I think all but 2 projects have become FOs, it just takes longer and!! I am improving and like it! just ... painfull slow.
Office Work - ugh, my documentation and organization has got to get stronger! No work talk. Sorry.
Family - Love them all. Never feel like I am doing the best for them. I feel like I am constantly letting them down.

If I am such a good family person why is it so hard for me to do things that will be better for EVERYONE? Why am I so selfish? Why can't I practice what I preach? The Kid is going to be taught bad habits by me. Being messy, lazy. The Kid is going to be so overwhelmed by his mother the hypocrite he will be writing sad novels until he's 45!

The Man-friend works very hard is very patient and treats me like an equal, however I am pretty bratty and entitled, and can't seem to shake my old "Only Child" behavior. (Hey! what can I say! I was alone 8 yrs before Sister came along!)

Anyways, Knot so Successful Girl is trying to learn things. I know, I am inspired, I am self-aware. I just fail on execution which is why I'm also "Half-Fast" Girl.

Whirlwind Weekend

Amazed at how capable I am of packing so much into a weekend, especially when I moan all the time that I'm tired, spread thin or just disorganized.

You know what would have me complaining even more? Missing out on fabulous things with fabulous people that also have VERY busy lives and weekends.

This weekend was a whirlwind and it was full of specialness and some awkward moments. However if there weren't some awkward moments in there, the weekend/experiences probably wouldn't have been mine ...

HIGHLIGHTS
* Dinner for Man-friend's birthday, sitting at the Bar at Salt House slurping down tastes like the sea oysters, and foie gras cured/sauteed with these crunchy bits of peaches and tea smoked duck. the plate was displayed as a lovely trio of flavorful goodness. Man-friend was unimpressed with my crispy shrimp with crispy (not fried, just blanched right) haricot verts with mesclun, serrano ham, almonds and harissa vinaigrette. However he is a snob. He wasn't very hungry, so I may have to return to investigate the pork belly.

*Visiting with SIL at Le Central for a glass of wine and meeting an interesting lady. We had ANOTHER glass of wine, some steak tartare and talked about weird kids, wine and Asia. It became a little muddled towards the end.

*Sleeping in my bed alone.

*Walking the city streets with my husband at night downtown, my kid during the day in the sunset and on my own, anywhere.

*Girls Night with the OK Club. Snoopy made a lovely pound cake with a fresh strawberry coulis, served with champers. The Good Girl brought a lovely selection of cheeses with an excellent description of each of them. She had me at "ice cream of cheeses." Hands down the favorite, triple cream of course! There was some thought we might knit. We just went for old fashioned chatter as it was, and it was lovely. Yosh with her pal would come out and parade or entertain us every now and again, with a story or a twirl.

*Fantastico Birthday Luncheon with the In-Laws. Sometimes it's almost too easy with good and close family. My Brother in Law was the Uncle who fell asleep on the couch while the kids watched Scooby Doo. My sister in law and I chattered on with their mother drinking wine, while the birthday boy scooted around and did Laundry. Hmm. That wasn't very nice of me was it. Anyhow, I guess I got an extra girl time in there. The kids played nice, and the food was as always tasty: Clean Seasoned Tri-tip, Grilled Chicken, Mashed creamy potatoes, heirloom tomato salad, cucumber salad, beet salad, Big GREEN salad mmm. plum tarte with creme fraiche. ahhh.

AWKWARD
*grumpy commentary after too much wine

*unable to sleep after girls night, we actually didn't drink very much, I think I was just wired from socializing. I stayed up till 2:30 to finish A Handful of Dust, by Evelyn Waugh.

*repeating oneself.

*shamed by restaurant owner because my child wasted so much Pho. He refused to share a bowl, and there was a lot leftover. He politely told The Kid that there were children and people starving and less fortunate. He then told me the story that he took his Kids to Vietnam and they cried at the poverty. They do not waste now. (Arent so greedy).

*shamed that Kid did not listen to me like 4 times when I said it was time to go after slumber party. I hate being ignored. (Isn't that obvious?) People tell me he's good at their house. But I wonder. I don't trust you know? Besides these are people that know how to play politely.

*overtired and sleepy at social functions. acting like overtired sleepy, chatty, brat child.

Pig Birds, Pig Bellies and Star Belly

Pig Birds are what the Colonel and the Kid call morning doves in Hawaii. They chase away the chickadees and woodpeckers and gobble up the bread and seeds. They are fearless, they let cars and people get really close to them. They are always hungry and they are just annoying pigeons in disguise.

Last night I was like one of those pig birds out to dinner with El Diablo who is getting a new moniker SS as in (sh*t starter) and Mlouis. They tried to eat the Burrata and the Pate, but I weaseled my way in. I commandeered the cutting up of the salad, and I suggested 2 pizzas instead of one. Well ... I KNOW I like the one w/bacon and jalapenos and arugula. Come on REALLY! But I wanted to try the Sausage with Broccoli Rabe and Lemon Zest. It was fun flavors, but I like my comfort.

The conversation was funny and fun, yet real. They both have an amazing ability to talk about real things and real people in their lives and analyze it with humor, but without judgement. We make fun of each other and our own personality hiccups or "interesting moments/life choices" and laugh. It's supportive and it's not overwhelming. I'm so pleased they are willing to share with me, and tolerate my "theatricality".

I love the fact that as SS drove me home, he agreed with my shock factor at people who say they have no regrets.

Dinner was long over, and I dragged out my vino and my coffee for their conversation. I was a Pig bird and Pig Belly at Star Belly with my pals.

The Knitting Scene

The Knitting Scene has been VERY busy.

In Hawaii, I stockinette on the plane and fishing. I did not stockinette as much as I'd like to to finish that Shrug. I was so sad, when I measured and I was only a little more than half way to stitching things up. I will measure again tonight ...

I also finished the second skein of The Kid's camoflauge blanket. This thing is A MONSTER I tell you. I sort of made up my own width when casting on, forgetting how it will stretch out as you knit. So, it's been growing like a sci-fi science experiment. (not a very good analogy i know. i'm tired.) I began the third skein, but decided that I deserved a break. It barely fits into the hot pink Ikea project pail that I keep it in, under my chair.

Instead I worked on the shrug ... again. And I barely stayed awake. I think I will need to swap out the shrug in the livingroom with the Golden Shawl in the bedroom. I think I will make less mistakes ... awake with the Shawl and asleep with the Stockinette Shrug.

The Denise Guru Sweater is on hold, until I can figure out (I think it may be math) where the marker is supposed to go for the beginning of the round -- it's not at the join this time, it's at the armpit. Yeah, sweatering is weird.

So all my projects are "growing" to the point that they are a pain to haul around. What's a girl to do? Well, start another project. I have decided to pick up the All Day Beret since I already picked up all the needles I need (and more. crap I really need to track my needles better). I will try to cast on at lunch after a midday testing project.

Lastly, sadly, sledbetter's baby blanket that I slaved over got a hole in it when she washed and dried it, which she should be able to do easily with no worries. I was fretting about it.

1) Embarassed that my craftsmanship was so shoddy
2) Pissed that I wouldn't be able to salvage it.

Sledbetter was pretty good about it though. She's like, I like it, just don't want it to unravel any further. J-crochet sits near Sledbetter's unit and was like, oh yeah, we can fix that. So tomorrow I bring some extra yarn to help repair my hopeful yarnies.

I'm thinking if the stitchup is ugly I can make a few small stockinette patches to cover it. hehe.

Wish I was knitting.

Unnecessary Preparation

I will not let second grade defeat me.

I had my game face on. I decided to go straight home from work instead of doing some bathroom supply shopping. I was going to address the homework and good habits after school issue. I was going to support the Man-friend as he executed yet another lovely family dinner.

However they didn't really need me. The Kid bounced his way to the kitchen table to do his homework after putting away his lunchbox and his shoes and backpack, with just an "Okay Mom."

Man-friend just asked me to lower the heat on the beans and rice when it boiled while he put away some laundry or something. ???

I was getting ready to ask the kid if he wanted to read or play a game, but he just wanted to play legos so I got to knit some stockinette.

My guard is down today, but I'm cooking ... what family will I be feeding tonight, the mellow one or the maintenance one?

The Crazy Is Showing Again!

My husband thinks I am crazy right now. With school starting, I am bringing the hammer. Everybody must be a moving gear to make the machine that is the household work. But they just think I'm crazy. And I am, but I am crazy for them, on their behalf. See what a martyr I am?

Why am I hammering? Why am I pushy, clipped and insensitive to big soft eyes, pouting, scoffing and franco-american hand gestures that wave me away like an insignificant bug?

BECAUSE THE CHILD IS LAZY.

He will do homework, messy, and wait for me to complain and make him fix it. I don't expect things to be perfect. I have gotten on that great cruise ship in life called, "I know he's not even close to his potential." I know what he's capable of.

HE HAS GROWN-UP LAZY IN A LITTLE BOY BODY!!

SAVE ME!!

You know what the problem is? He has no FIRE. He has expectations and he wants to be served.

I HAVE CREATED AN ENTITLED MONSTER.

Well, I'm Mom and I will nip this crap in the bud now, I don't care if it costs me cool points and therapy hours.

I'm irritated.

ha! I have to laugh. Because I wonder if anyone will read this hitting the "Next Blog" button. Everytime I click through for fun ... I get a a TON of these blogs where everybody's kids are just so golden and fanfreakingtastic and never do anything irritating. Who are these people? Oh the same people with the outdoor studio professional studio portraits in matching outfits and champagne colored SUVs.

I feel ill. I'm a horrible mother.

Back at Home

So I mentioned yesterday was cranky day. it was ... REALLY cranky.

Today was the first day back to work and THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL.

Getting The Kid out of Bed was a chore that took 3 attempts. I will remind both him and his father of this mercilessly this evening when I get the sad face for bedtime. I managed to brush his hair, but he didn't wash his face and he had toothpaste on it, I didn't see until we were at Market street hailing a cab.

That's right first day of school and we are hailing a cab.

Even better we're still late. I thought we had a chance when we first got there, because I saw the 4th and 5th grade classes filing into the building. However Henry is in the bungalow this year, and so essentially they walk 30 yards from line-up to their room. Teacher was not pleased with us. Can you blame her, parents that are tardy the first day ... this is supposed to be your shining best fresh start ... what does she have to look forward to from us?

There was the back to school breakfast for parents, which is basically recess for grown-ups. I couldn't make it to the coffee or to a few of my friends to say hello because I was totally caught up in the sea of other people and conversations. More reason to come early ...

Tomorrow, I will go with Man-friend he cracks the whip in the morning time. I need to get there early so I can build my confidence that it can be done.

First day of school lunch: Triscuts, Salami, Muenster, Strawberries, heirloom cherry tomatoes and grape tomatoes, whole foods lemonade and organic cheese squares for the afternoon.

First day of school breakfast: boulange bun sliced in half, one with butter and Ama Pt. Reyes Blackberry Jam the other with butter and lavendar honey, 2 gummy vitamins and water. Mom: Half a cup of milk & sugar coffee

First day back at work: Angry that I was late for school. Happy b/c R-man bought me a cup of tea, when he ran into me at the cafe. How kind of a return is that? Lots of work. Sad the knitting group didn't meet w/o me last week. I will have to whip them into shape. Amazed at how much work I have to do.

First day back at work distractions:
1) Clams, I keep thinking about clams with white wine, parsely and LOTS of butter and garlic. Damn that sounds good.

2) An email that I wasn't expecting. I dont have to work on it's contents till the end of the week, but I keep thinking what it's going to take to work on it.

3) How boringo my lunch seems today, compared to how excited I was last night packing it up. I really think I'm not a back to back meal leftover person.

4) How cute Pearlcream looks, but I dare not tell her, because I don't want her cute to give me the evil eye. hehe.

The second half ... Oahu

So, I didn't post the second half of the trip, mainly because my Mother was irritated with computer use and also because our Elementary school was filling my inbox in a way that was just Too TOO overwhelming while being on vacation.

So I figure I'll sum it up again ...

* Fishing is hot and stinky work. Fishing is overrated. Untangling little people's fishing line really sucks. Tropical fish in buckets make me sad, I set them free, despite everyone's talk of their tastiness. I was accused of turning PETA. We fished in Kailua and on base. I liked Kailua b/c I didn't fish, I went to McDonald's for an iced tea with Dad and then went to the hobby store, where I did NOT buy any yarn. Thank you very much!

* I really like Japanese tourists. I don't think that is very PC of me to say, but I do. The young newlyweds, the cute families, with their cute and polite kids. Oh and I know this isn't very PC either, but I really noticed A LOT of little cute girl children.
Possible reasons for me noticing:
a) Was I having envy? possibly.
b) They were only children or just two children?
c) Super cute and stylish

* Man-friend cannot handle large crowds well. He was totally overstimulated at Waikiki at night. He wanted to know why people were out so late with their children, when he wanted to go to bed. We saw many kids sleeping in arms or strollers or at the dinner table while their parents ate. Everyone was okay though.

* Favorite t-shirt: Golddigger - Like a Hooker, but smarter. Man-friend would not let me buy it, b/c of racist t-shirts in the window: "Speak Engrish" for example.

* Drinks at the Moana Loa Surfrider outside bar totally reasonable, tropical and very relaxing.

* Japanese Ramen at Nakamura (like the building in Die Hard) very good. He got the local favorite, "Ox Tail" where they give you an extra bowl to rest and dip the bone you gnaw on with light soy and ginger. I got Miso Kim-chee, despite the hesitancy of my stomach that night, b/c that is what the lady next to me ate. It was delightful. The bar was in a U-shape and everyone drinks water. The sign says, "Cash or Yen Only". We really enjoyed our meal there.

*Morning Walk to feed the fish in the estuary and eat diner breakfast with the family was really nice and a good little two mile walk to help ease the guilt of the salty greasy breakfast. Cornbeef hash and hashbrowns. hehe.

* Mom's cooking. So happy to eat her rice porridge and omlette, her beef barley soup and thai pork salad. She roasted Turkey Wings for my "afternoon snack" the day we flew in.

*Snorkeling in Hanumua bay with the kid. Little windy and we should've gone to the left side which was less rocky, but the fish were amazing, and the Kid couldn't have been happier. My parents were able to come and see him in action, and that made everyone squishy all the way around.

* Learning I am a tenative snorkeler. Yeah I know I'm surprised too. I love water, swimming and yes even nature. However, I have bad depth perception and peripheral vision so I cut myself a lot on the coral, and also, the mask and breathing snorkel thing, felt more awkward than I think it would. Having said that, if I were a real Island girl, I think I would get over it faster, getting lots of chance to practice.

* Red Eye Flights. The Kid was a wreck, trying to stay awake for the 10:30 boarding. He fell asleep with the gum in his mouth while we were taxing. Man-friend had to dig it out. Kid slept well, not so good for the two of us, switching the middle for the kid to snuggle on us, awkward where do I put my arm feelings. Shorter flight 4.5 hrs? So the limited sleep was even more limited. Yesterday was family cranky day, I was so exhausted even after napping in the morning I couldn't really even knit until after lunch. Not sure if I would do a red eye again. Maybe international? hmm.

* Work dreams. Body seems to kick in a day or two before vacation ends, reminding you, don't get too comfortable girl. Those lotto numbers haven't come in yet.

Vacation is good.

Big Time Summer Vacation: Big Island Hawaii

So we are into day 4 of our family summer vacation. This is a basic recap of Sunday through Wednesday midday ... big island Hawaii ...

* MIL (Mother In Law) and husband made a great decision in The Marriott Resort. Beautiful grounds, comforting rooms, Three pools, a water slide, a beach with free half day snorkel gear with lots of fish and sea turtles.

*Snorkeling with the kid. Did you know he is so chatty and incessant that he even can talk and sing underwater with a snorkel? Yeah! I didn't know either ... He was in an inflatable inner tube with his gear, and The Man-friend held his hand while they looked over the coral. Apparently he freaked out over the Ray. I got startled this morning when I looked up and saw a Sea turtle out of no-where 2 feet away from me. The boys are enjoying taunting me about it. What can I say, I'm a little shifty and scary like that. Anything pops up out of no-where 2 feet close to me, vegetarian sea turtle, Santa clause or scooby doo -- I'm creeped out.

*Water slide. Seriously, I don't think I went down that thing once without a big sh*t-eating grin. Also double points for pulling my knees up, upon landing for cannon balling dorks hanging out below.

*Hotel buffet. Dooode. Fried rice, crispy bacon, miso soup, salad fixin's best pineapple and papaya.

*Volcano Park -- Watching the boys climb over the lava rock that poured over the road, climbing myself. Steaming craters, a million different microclimates and types of geography, not to mention the whacky friendly rangers.

*SUNBURN CITY. Sweet Jesus, we went through 4 oz of SPF 50 in less than 4 days and we still could basically swim in Aloe Vera. All of us look ... red and aloe shiny.

*Injuries: The Kid has tender feet ... cut down one toe, pebble stuck in heel on the other foot, dug out w/wine opener and over-priced revlon tweezers from the hotel gift store and Mom's convenient pain-free neosporin. Coral scrapes on me ... one leg has an ankle and knee. The other leg the ankle. Swollen left angle. Angry toes that ask for an anti-inflammatory.

*No knitting -- finished the second book in the Millenium series ... The Girl Who Played With Fire. It was fun and engaging, the question is can I wait to read the last one in paperback ... doubt it.