Sometimes when my life is in busy mode, I have anxiety dreams. It's not uncommon, I hear. My usual ones involve waiting tables where I don't know the table numbers or it's really dark or I'm the only one on shift on a super busy day. There are also the standard, I have an exam and I didn't even know I was taking that class this semester, and a whole set of t-shirt dreams. These are a spin on the above: waiting tables in just a oversize sleep-shirt, going to school, taking an exam in an oversize sleep-shirt and my absolute favorite, skiing in an oversize sleep-shirt.
In this one I find myself getting off the chairlift. It's usually snowing, I have goggles, boots, gloves etc. and I only have a sleep-shirt on. I talk myself into it. "It's okay, all you have to do is ski down the hill and you can get some pants on. If you do it well and quickly, you can get a pair of pants on before anyone notices, and if you don't fall, you'll have dry underpants." (even though it's snowing)
Well I haven't had a good monster dream in awhile. The old cranium thought it would sort of shake up the usual anxiety dream rotation and threw in some rather quick but dim-witted zombies that were following me to a hospital. But then the hospital turned into my friend's house who were having some kind of super grown up rager party. You know instead of red silo cups it was cocktail glasses, but the music and dancing was out of some crazy VH1 video. (I don't think MTV has videos anymore, just lots of real
bad t.v.) I didn't get to do my best table top dances because I was in charge of babysitting twin boys who were really dirty and poopy. However my anxiety shot through the roof when I realized their tub was not easy to use and I was going to need time to fiddle with the faucet, but I couldn't let those two alone. (approx 15 mos - 2 years old). I woke up after that.
I have no idea where I get this stuff. The brain is fascinating, spooky even.
I think knowing I'm functioning on borderline daytime anxiety troubles, I have taken the route so many of you have suggested and that is taking a step back from the knitting to re-appreciate. It's worked.
I still have not bound off that shawl. It's sitting there, and that's okay. I did finish (except for that dastardly weaving part) that stroller blanket and I am almost to the heel part of my very first sock. Simple knitting in the round is really calming.
In my knitting time out I started the pattern perusing.
And here is what is on the horizon in the latest batch of knitting dreams:
I went from saying, I can't buy a whole book
for one pattern (the Acorn Tea Cozy
). Now feeling more sockfident, my tune is changing along with a hat, wrap and some arm warmers that have the potential to be fantastic holiday gifts ;)
Also, did you see Brooklyn Tweed is trying to woo me with his latest all men's collection
. I think there are still things from the past 2 pattern releases I have been meaning to do. But a girl can dream.