Friday, August 31, 2012

I Smell a 3-Day Weekend!!

The gray weather came in this morning ushering in Labor Day the gatekeeper to the fall. It's supposed to warm up again tomorrow or so, but this is fine for everyone's mood now.

At school drop-off this morning everyone was chockful of excitement for the long weekend. Some people are already off early.

The parking lot at work looks like a desert. I wondered who would be in the office ... oh there were plenty of us still "cubing" it today.

Lists of chores have been made. It's chance to catch up a little after some serious lazy post work/workout evenings! They must be good lists too, because I see the tremors in the boys' eyes as I prattle on about how "We're gonna get things done!".

Time blocking has been declared! (The Kid has requested video game/computer time, I knitting and forced family declutter, The Husband, Sunday day trip) Expectations managed!

Anticipated disappointment: Between soccer practice Saturday morning and our day trip on Sunday I will probably not get a chance to watch any live Premiere League soccer. This is mitigated by extra knitting time at practice, seeing a LIVE MLS soccer match on Sunday evening and ... knitting in the car on our Sunday day trip :)

I smell cups of coffee, tea, chocolate crinkle cookies, cinnamon rolls and bbq.

I can feel soft yarn, hoodies covering my ears in the Sunset district fog,

I can see my overworked husband enjoying a chance to sleep in and take his time reading the paper and I can see The Kid furiously working on new Lego designs.

If I can have just some or any of the above, I'm a lucky one.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

How I could be a better mother: Part 4,671

I will not use shame as a regularly scheduled parenting tool.

I will not do something for The Kid just because I'm feeling too lazy to teach him or discipline him.

I will not swear so much. (Honestly it's weird. It's like since he's turned 9 I've gone PG-13 ... sh*t! one more thing to not be lazy about.)

I will get a tutor for homework before I start talking out of my brown bottom.

I will demand he put in his practice time when he starts playing the flute (which I had no idea he had any interest in playing) even if my ears bleed.

I will work on my gentle methods of extracting personal information so I actually know something about my kid.

I will bring back board game night.

I will de-clutter on a regular basis as an example of not being so attached to stuff. I will teach him to let go.

I will make bake him something homemade tomorrow.

*Note I've deleted probably 10 other items. I was getting a little carried away. Need to save something for the next installment of "How I could be a better mother."

Monday, August 27, 2012

Monday's What's Up

 I am all over the place and figured I need a title that sufficiently covered my Randomania.

The hoodie is truly for everyone ...
queen hoodie


School is back and so are lice checks. I love the smell of leave-in Tea Tree Oil conditioner. No really, it smells clean.

The sun came out in San Francisco today and the walk from school to work was as pleasant as ever.

My stats for fantasy football have dropped me one in the ranking this week. I went from 11/19 to 12/19. I won't ever be number 1, but this sure is fun. Makes the BPL that much more fun to follow on the weekend.

So in my search for interesting "footy" things. I found this bit of superficial but absolutely fun. A more femme approach than say the also funny Dirty Tackle.

In the world of knitting I realize my lovely Color Affection is going to have a wonky tight knitted edge where the 3rd section of the pattern with the 3 color stripes is. Sad face. :( I am in too deep to trying anything else now. I wish I had paid closer attention to other people's projects notes where they pointed this out as well. I suppose I'll have to have another try inserting a Yarn Over between the first two knitted stitches on the Right Side of the fabric and dropping the Yarn Overs on the Wrong Side. Live and learn. Unfortunately I will have used the Plucky Knitter yarn so I will have to go Stash Diving. This could be fun right?

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Links Post and Random Web Observations

I've always got a million ideas. Unfortunately I don't have enough time to do the ones that actually hold in my mind.

Good thing I have this handy dandy blog! It's better than those silly Moleskin mini journals The Colonel lugs around in his pen pocket.

1. Obsessing about lace shawl patterns. Seriously obsessing. I think it's because I have some lovely lace yarn I've been wanting to ... well, lace all summer with still no success. So I give you The Henslowe. I saw it at the Fireflyspun blog. I hadn't visited here before, but isn't it lovely? I reference you to other sites, because I'm still not completely sure of other people's photos protocol, and I'm just not in the mood to be reprimanded. Is it weird part of the reason besides the lovely scottish style that I want to knit this is because of the name? We call The Kid Hen, and I'm feeling some of that ridiculous Mom squish that one gets when it's back to school and you feel old and life is fleeting and passing you by.

All the more reason to knit out some issue eh? The crazy is showing again, I know.

2. The secret stash. I must remember the secret stash when plotting projects. Where is the secret stash you ask? I show you ...

That's my file cabinet at the office. I know. I know no shame. Well why should I have any? That's a Verb for Keeping Warm Tussah Silk AND Madelinetosh. Sheesh. It's a drawer of happy after a bad meeting!

3. I finally signed up for my favorite run of the year. The Bridge to Bridge. It's super beautiful and fun and everyone is nice and charities win. Yay! This fall the event season is ramping up. It should be fun as long as I have the time! Must remember to actually run, jog, walk briskly? in preparation ... zzz boringtown...

4. Lunch ideas. So school is back on, and there are no more breaks from packing lunches. New is welcome, but really this?? Perhaps I am not super granola and crunchy and let my kid have processed foods/sugar every now and again but The Kid eats well, like San Francisco, Restaurant raised well. I mean he may be snooty and snobby in his own way, but this is just ugh. So righteously good for you that I want to vomit. I'm horrible. I know it. Maybe the cheddar crackers would fly but that's about it. And honestly, I don't have the interest to spend time to bake and spit those out, I am fortunate and can afford Annie's cheddar bunnies. But I won't lie, I'm completely willing to reach for the Goldfish with the "extra ingredients".

Ugh. Seriously why do I feel so personally offended by this post? Obviously just nice people offering healthy options. I have such a chip on my shoulder sometimes.

*Littlesnoopy and I believe in the small portions bento box style of lunch. Why do we believe in it? Because it seems that's when we get the most positive feedback as well as food consumed.

5. T-shirt bags!! Might have to dig through one of the Goodwill bags I STILL have not dropped off yet... I have a dragon t-shirt from the Chinatown YMCA 5k I love but never wear ...

So here is another glimpse into the fissures of my brain. Hope you don't have nightmares!

Monday, August 20, 2012

It's all just a mess

I've been trying. Really hard to sort through it all. I am unbelievable saddened by my ineffectiveness.

What is the opposite of making an impact? That's me.

So in an exercise for my own mental sanity let's see where else I'm inept and how I'm patching together resolutions:

1. I am not seeing my family enough, specifically my father and sister. They live in the area. Yes, my sister is busy, and my father doesn't much enjoy the commute to the city. But they are nearby, and I need to make a better effort. Because, looks splash! The summer went by and I barely saw them. Bad daughter. Bad sister.

Resolution: We are family, they are stuck with me. Call them, make a plan.

2. The clutter is not uncluttering. So much to go through, so much to get rid of. We have so much, and I know that we are already plotting how we can get more. I want space. I want a few nice outfits and yarn. So why do I have these other "things?"

Resolution: Take the 3 bags of Goodwill to the Goodwill this week. Create three more by the end of the weekend.

3. I did not back up the computer, upload the newest set of photos or shop for a new computer. It all has to do with computer. Even the iPhone can't save me from this chore can it?

Resolution: This is painful. Saturday afternoon, after I drop the kid off at a Birthday party, at least upload photos and back up on external drive.

4. I barely ran all summer. Just when I was working out consistently every week, I got hit by the summer cold. I barely made 45 mins. the other night of sustained cardio. I have to climb the get fit mountain twice as hard now.

Resolution: Thanks Nike ... I know ... just do it. Or better yet, keep going, don't think, just go. I always feel better. Start with a walk, start walking there, somewhere, anywhere.

5. Anxiety is mounting that I'm going to forget something else.

Resolution: Easy peasy pie. I love a good list. Write it down, prioritize. Strike an item, knit an hour ... or two...

Unbelievably Boring & Gray - "Now what?"

So ... my posts are sparse unlike my arse.

I attempt to write something and I'm shamed for lack of pictures in knitting posts and I'm shamed for how boring I am in any attempt at reflection.

Well it's up to me to make a change. Knitters and Dingy Moms must persevere.

I blame a lot of my ennui on my lack of supreme health. I cannot shake this throaty cough. (Though last night I slept pretty fabulously and I might've heard a few angels sing.) This has run me down far more than I realized. It's hard because I'm not outright bedridden sick, but do not have sufficient energy.

As in protest my hair seems to be "rooting" at an alarming rate. I bought some new dye two weeks ago, but have sort of just let it ... languish. I'm wearing my mood perhaps? The thing is I don't feel depressed, just tired.

I am returning to some exercise this week. But I don't think I'll be back to 3 days a week until next week. I can barely fold laundry without wanting to file a legal complaint. ha!

I am actually going to weave and block that Leaves Sweater for Ms. Jodi and ship it out to her. Just in time for teacher's new school year.

I've started legwarmers for Ms. Shay and I'm hoping... hoping that I can make some more progress on Aidez this month for myself.

The Wonder Blanket which I've decided to start calling, The Monster Blanket is toiling along at an acceptable pace. It's good for a few rows before dreamland.

I have delusions of other blankets but I might have to pace myself with casting on additional projects. School is about to start, and along with it, homework checks, soccer practice, and volunteering. That's returning to normal. (Secretly I'm grateful to know that my morning commute for The Kid is just less than 2 miles from the house instead of the all over the map day camps we had this summer.)

Also I have decided I might wholeheartedly join a knit a long Random I know. I'm usually so bad at making pace, I never join. I don't know how people like Project Stash do it. She's got a million going! I'm on the ravelry group for the Wonder Blanket, but that felt so low pressure, that it was OK. (That reminds me, I wanted to try her Miranda Hat pattern ... so much to do!) I really need to get over my sock knitting issues. I even bought some of those tiny sock making knitting needles.

I have had no kitchen mojo whatsoever. I haven't wanted to make a stew, a brownie a biscuit a rice krispy treat. Nada, nothing. Projects of fiber and that's it. I mean I cook, but I'm not project cooking or baking. And that's okay.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The truth about my knitting

I have fear of button bands.

Picked up Tea Leaves to work on the button bands with great dread. I did this cardigan in baby size and it was angry with me. The button bands I mean. It puckered. I took the Ravelry-ers (what is the proper term for the other fiber/yarn/knit/crochet nutters?) and picked up 1 for every two rows. This means I skipped every other slipped edge. I think it does not translate. I finished out 4 rows to see if I needed to rip it back. It's not the first time I've had to work something "simple" a million times to get it right.

It seemed okay. But instead of knitting under the influence of wine, I was knitting under the influence of the Olympics and fatigue and I can't say I was tracking my rows and stitch counts very well.

I'm on button band #2 (sans the button holes) and just kind of saying a garment prayer of please let this turn out because it's giving me anxiety.

Which leads me back to the truth about my knitting. I think there are times that my fear of screwing up delays my completion. I think there are times when my anxiety to complete something has me barrel through with errors. Often these errors are not fixed. It's like, fine, I cheated on my boyfriend just to ensure I'd end the relationship since I didn't have the stones to do it the right way. (Wow does that make any sense?  Am I reading too much *celebrity smut?)

Knitting fears, life fears ... bah! I tell you I'm a ball of anxiety, a ball, people. People tell me I'm not enjoying life when I have these bouts, that I'm unable to be thankful for what I have. FIE I say. It's the complete opposite. It is because I care and value things so much more than I am capable of handling. I know what is it stake. I know how easily things can go wrong. I know I can lose a little or a lot and I'm not a very good loser, at least not on the inside.

Thank goodness there is yarn to keep my hands busy, and my mind a little calmer.

*Love Lainey Gossip. Love the celebrity smut. Does it make me a better person? No. But I like it. Forgive me friends, for I have DailyMailed too much...